Notes from a recovering New Years Eve 'resolution-ist'

TIHEI, Mahuika

This is one of my first goes at an AI generated image - it was supposed to be picture of a Māori/Pacific lego super woman on a canoe in the middle of an ocean. I am still grappling with inner talk about AI.

I’m a recovering New Year’s Eve ‘resolution-ist.’ This year, I didn’t.

I did however, do a ritual my sister in law and brother do every New Years Eve. Releasing and letting go of ‘stuff.’ Writing down on a piece of paper those things, and then burning it. So that is what I did my on New Years Eve. I messaged a few friends, during this process. “OMG, I love burning shit!’ I watched the fire die out and then by putting just one piece of paper on it, marveling how it would set the whole fire back up, flaming. I thought of our ahi kā whanau, and how they stoke the embers.

My face does not reflect the joy I experienced doing this. It was more of Tom Hanks moment in Castaway, ‘I have made fire’ moment. Lols.

I thought of my own ahi kā that we reflect about in Rangi Parauri wānanga. I thought of Mahuika, the goddess of fire. Watching the fire, I felt alive. I felt energy and aliveness. In that moment, Mahuika was right there with me.  And I wondered how I would continue to stoke my own fires. The fires within me. TIHEI, Mahuika!

But ok, the other reason why I didn’t do any New Year’s Eve’s resolutions, was because I had already set some intentions on the 27^th December. (Ok, ok, I did say I was in recovery). I decided to follow the maramataka. And RESET from the previous marama. Here were my intentions on the Ōturu moon – and I hope this is helpful for ‘someone else’ out here in Substack land:

I hereby commit to getting my ass 'Back on the W.A.K.A'

I am going to do this by looking at the marama, and finding out when the next Ōturu, Rākaunui or Whiro moon is. I will mark this in my diary and this will be my Day 1.

I commit to following this through for 3 moon phases. This could be 90 days (or more or less).

I also commit to KEEP ON GOING even though I will know I will NOT do this perfectly. I will remember the mantra’s: Progress, not perfection; It is the majority of votes (ie ticks) that count.

I commit to channeling Papatūānuku with kindness when I fuck up. When, there is a fuck up, I commit to the very next action after that being a mauri enhancing action (ie a habit on my plan.). I will just haere tonu. I commit to ensure that I don’t do two fuck up’s in a row.

I also commit to letting Tūmatauenga step in to get  my ass moving with a bit of consistency and discipline. Just fucken do it. Get off your ass and do something.

I commit to being like Tāne Māhuta and observing my actions, the actions that move me towards my dreams and those actions that move me away from my dreams. I will observe my self-sabotage without judgement. Instead, I will acknowledge Whiro and reflect about the lessons Whiro is putting in my pathway. Then I will channel Tāwhirimātea and take a breath and keep going. With lessons and koha tucked away in my kete.

I commit to NOURISHING me and STRENGTEHNING me – physically, emotionally, spiritually and in my relationships with myself and others.  

I commit to learning about me on this journey. I commit to learning about my ancestors. I commit to diving into those relationships and connections with the atua and my tupuna.

I commit to turning up and showing up for me every day.

I commit to doing it, even if I don’t feel like doing it.

I commit to on those days, when I am down in the dumps, to just being gentle and something is better than nothing.

I commit to be being open to the possibility that although there will be challenges and some straight up talking and possibly some tears and tantrums by my old identity, there is always a koha, a small glimmering light somewhere in the darkness and that if I can commit to still being curious, those hīnātore moments will glow stronger.

I commit to the TIHEI  journey.  

TIHEI , Mauriora!